Shadow of the Vampire

Shadow of the Vampire. John Malkovich has to have the worst fake German accent of all time, worse even than Marlon Brando in the Young Lions. You think they could have cut back on Malkovich’s specialty catering needs and brought in a dialog coach, or at least combined them. Or maybe they did, and it didn’t work. This is Münchner Weißwurst, Herr Malkovich. Munchy Wice wirst? Willem Dafoe, however, is one of my fave vampires ever. You think that someone would make a NetFlix mini-series based around that dirty old decrepit vampire. AARP could sponsor. Dracula Is Trying to Rise From the Grave. Dracula Has Fallen and He Can’t Get up. Unbeing John Malkovich. Which makes no sense, I know, but it’s been a punchline in search of a set up for years.

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