The thing about being a celebrity is that you never have to write your own blog posts. That’s what interns are for. I could be watching TV right now or doing a crossword puzzle instead of this. Do you think Al Pacino or Miley Cyrus write their own blogs? Hell, A-List celebrities can’t even tweet without sounding like idiots. So they hire interns. I love that, hiring interns. It’s not like they’re paying them anything. What cheap studio sonofabitch invented this system? In fact, there are even interns who pay to be interns. You hire them to let them pay you. Welcome to Hollywood. You pay to join, like Scientology or Costco. So the first thing a Z-List blogger will ask a D-List celebrity is do you have an intern, sir? I’d laugh derisively. I always laughed derisively. That’s how you distinguish between the lists, by who is laughing derisively at who. Of course I have an intern, I’d snort, who doesn’t? Interns are a dime a dozen in this town. You get to keep the dime, too. End of interview. Then I let the blogger by me a drink.