Playboy’s Miss May 1979 is on Antiques Road Show with her bunny outfit. It’s worth several thousand dollars. She didn’t have the knee socks. Though I didn’t remember the knee socks. Apparently my roommate didn’t pick up that issue. Or maybe all I read were the articles. Though knee socks are an article, actually. In fact, knee socks were about the only article. The parasol was an accessory.

The first time I ever dropped by Playboy Studios West to pick up press passes for the Playboy Jazz Festival the receptionist was this great old guy built like a retired master sergeant. Loud and a lotta laughs. Perfect. We had a long talk while I was waiting for some harried production assistant to show up with my passes. She rushed out, panicked, found my passes, and rushed back inside again. I said so long to the master sergeant and he said hold on and handed me a few copies of the magazine. They had stacks of them in the waiting area, the way your dental office has People and Sunset. Enjoy, he said. I held them tightly by my side, covers down, as I walked back to the car. Tossed them in the back seat. At home later I discovered they were the Czech, Dutch, Turkish and Japanese editions. The pictures were nice and very international, but since I don’t speak Czech, Dutch, Turkish or Japanese, I couldn’t read them for the articles. I can now say long walks on the beach in four languages, though.