I keep seeing pictures of horribly dressed people in Walmarts. I’ve actually never been in a Walmart. Not even the parking lot. I’ve heard they are vast and full of Winnebagos, those parking lots. Never been in a Costco either. Costco weirds me out. Like Scientology for shoppers. Even the parking lot is disturbing. I have a whole paranoid story about a Costco parking lot I never finished [I did, later.] I have been to Wall Drugs. Bought some socks. Waited for the dinosaur to wake up. Saw more socks. They wear a lot of socks in South Dakota. And while I know you can get socks cheaper at Costco, I don’t need five hundred socks. As for Walmart, do they even wear socks in there? The customers, I mean. From all the pictures you can’t really tell. Maybe they wear just one. Maybe three.

Incidentally, I googled “Walmart socks” for a picture to put here. A bunch of pictures of socks, and people wearing socks, and a really angry meme that says No clean socks, buys new socks at Walmart. That mystified me. Then I googled “Walmart parking lot” for a picture to put right here. Most were just pictures of big parking lots. One a big parking lot with a chicken. Several parking lots with weirdos. Strange vehicles. A burro. Some cars on fire. Police. An Elvis impersonator. Two babes in bikinis, sunning. I thought about using that one, but nah.

I also stumbled onto a really angry tee shirt that reads Wal-Marx with a hammer and sickle, the whole bit. Apparently some anarchists call it that, Wal-Marx. Some Tea Party types call it that, too. Both also call it fascist. Just how confused are people anymore? What’s wrong with calling it an old fashioned monopolistic union busting creepy giant company? That’s what it is. What’s with the inane and utterly meaningless ideological nomenclature? Do they think it makes them look smart? It doesn’t. Just deluded. Out of it. Detached from reality. One hates to say stupid. I mean even if it’s ironic, it’s stupid. Irony doesn’t work with a sledgehammer.

What the hell, here’s the parking lot babes. At least they’re accomplishing something.

Walmart parking lot bikini babes.