Blurred naked people

I wonder about the people behind those blurred faces where married couple’s faces should be. Like the couple in this video I just opened by mistake. I wouldn’t have watched it, I don’t think, except the faces were so carefully blurred out. Their anonymity intrigues. Who are these people? They are both wearing rings and seem to know each other. I suppose they could be co-workers, but they are a little too familiar. Co-workers get flirty familiar, but this is banal familiar. He is huffing and puffing and saying sexy things. Would a husband say something that inane with a coworker’s wife? Would a husband leave his socks on with a co-worker’s wife? And what about her? Would a wife make those grunting noises with a co-worker’s husband? I mean the sounds of romantic love they are not. That’s married love.

As is her underwear. If that was a co-worker’s husband and not her own she wouldn’t want the office to know about that underwear. Underthings like those, not to mention his mismatched socks, or that very large yet anatomically correct implement in her hand, are the intimate details that don’t come out till the divorce. Which might not be far off is he doesn’t do any better than he’s doing now. He’s petering out quickly, no pun intended. She is still grunting gamely. It it good? he keeps asking. She lies. They are married.

Unblurred this couple’s lives are probably models of middle class decorum. Teachers, maybe, or lawyers. Church goers. Respected in the community. Parents even. Though kids aren’t likely in this case, as this appears to be their master bedroom, and kids can recognize their mom and dad’s master bedroom, even if they’ve never seen that underwear before. The room is nicely furnished. Walnut dresser, a comfortable king sized bed, that big mirror, and nice plush carpeting. We notice the carpeting as these two are rutting on the floor. Apparently the view in the mirror is better from there, and apparently neither of them mind rug burned knees, though you never do at the moment. The lighting is a little dim, and his one handed camera work leaves something to be desired, but we viewers do get that thrilling cinéma vérité feel that, I am told, is the appeal of the whole genre. Well, that and naked people screwing. In this case, blurred naked people.

But probably very nice blurred naked people. Their Facebook pages are probably full of them smiling, laughing, doing perfectly acceptable things. Birthday parties and coffee clatches. Trips to the zoo. Romantic dinners at the beach. Yet with faces blurred they do rather embarrassing things you think must hurt, or hurt one of them anyway. The kind of things you could never imagine the nice lady next to you at the conference table doing, or the mousey little guy in the neighboring cubicle. But you never know. Odds are good that someone in your office is in his or her all on the internet, exploring nature. And it’s probably not the someone you wish it was. There are apparently tens of thousands of quite ordinary couples just like this pair, faces blurred but bodies perfectly vivid, doing much the same thing on sites all over the internet. Hundreds of thousands of people–well, hundreds of thousands of men–might watch them on their computer screens, busying themselves.

I’m not sure why these blurred face couples do it. For themselves? For fame? For posterity, no pun intended? A friend of mine once thanked god that this technology wasn’t available when she was younger. I agreed. What seems ridiculous in your dotage might seem perfectly reasonable at that age we all photograph well. In our day all we could do was screw in parking lots. But they arrest you for that now. These videos are perfectly legal, among consenting adults anyway. They’re not even considered unusual anymore. And just as the blurred wife’s toes begin to curl, he’s done.

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