Miley Cyrus

(Written whenever it was Miley Cyrus outraged America.)

So looking at the Miley Cyrus video that every grown woman I know is posting on Facebook this morning, with commentary, I’ve made several observations.

1) Miley Cyrus could hold a fork with that tongue but it would be hard to eat anything.

2) You can’t hear the song with the volume down so I just pretended it was “Achey Breaky Heart”.

c) Women will not bend over like that if you are just a writer. I’ve asked.

d) I have no idea who Miley Cyrus is other than the picture of her pumping gas at a gas station and it wasn’t all that, as all that goes, unless all that goes is all went already and where have I been.

5) I only watched this because I thought Robin Thicke was that Canadian guy who tells jokes and plays hockey with the Hanson Brothers.

6) Doesn’t VMA stand for the Virginia Military Academy? Except the Virginia Military Academy doesn’t have teddy bears, at least not huge scary ones.

There was a seventh point but I left it out because it was more sad than funny.

All that being said, however, I will hold back on any personal opinion until I read what the intellectuals have to say in the New Yorker and Atlantic Monthly. Because they will. Over and over and over. Smart people being what they are today.

Thank you.

(I was very disappointed, later, to see that neither The Atlantic nor the New Yorker wrote about the greater meaning of Miley Cyrus. No Beyoncé she, that Miley Cyrus.)

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